How to Tell if You are a "True" Writer or Not

This week I was blogging over at Sia McKye's Thoughts Over Coffee blog. The idea of what makes you a "true" writer came up. A lovely follower noted that they must not be a "true" writer because... (insert reason here.)

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we look for the definition of a "true" writer?

I hate this question. I hate that some people say you have to be published by one of the big six to be a "real" writer. I hate that others say you aren't real until you make $X. So what in my opinion makes a "true" writer?

A writer writes.

That's it. It's that simple. Ask yourself, do I write? If the answer is yes, then you are a writer. It doesn't matter if you have to clean the house before you write or if you have to write when everyone else is in bed. It doesn't matter if the grammar is bad or the story-line doesn't hold up. It doesn't matter if your dialog is off key.

We all have our different ways of doing things and we all have the ability to learn. So what makes a writer? Someone who writes. Some writers are list makers. Some writers are poets. Some writers are slogan writers. Some writers are journalists. Some write for money. Some write research. Some write short stories. Others write novels or songs. All in all if you write, then you are a true writer.

Now that that is decided, the next thing to ask yourself is what are your personal goals as a writer? Do you want to write a short story? Do you want to write a song? A poem? A jingle for a product? Do you want to write fan fic? Do you want to write a novel?

How do your goals as a writer fit into your lifestyle? Having trouble finding the time to write? Ask yourself why- are you afraid of failure or success? Are you afraid to give yourself permission to take time to meet a seemingly frivolous goal? Or are your writing goals too big for your current life?

Whatever it is~ you have the power to change it. Fear of failure? Tell yourself you're only writing for fun and don't show it to anyone. Not until you want to or are comfortable. There is no rule that you have to have your work read to be a writer. Fear of success? Take the writing day by day Today I will write a page. I won't worry about hitting the NY Times list or doing appearances. Fear of taking time for yourself? Tell yourself that "Everyone" will be happier when you are happier and writing makes you happy. Adjust your goals to match your life-don't let yourself be pushed into something that doesn't work for you.

So here is my question: are you a writer? Did you write today? Did you want to? Do your goals need to be adjusted?

If you are a writer- even a writer of lists. Give yourself permission to play with it, to have fun with it. Life is too short to not be who you are or to try to live up to other people's expectations or definitions of who you are. Now go and write~ even if it's only to comment on my thoughts. Cheers~

Finding Time

The irony that this post is late, is not lost on me. But I took the time this morning to have brunch with writer friends as prescribed in my Finding Balance blog. So, things got backed up.
The Finding Balance blog showed me that finding time is a difficult thing for writers to do. There are so many other pressing things--family, work, house cleaning, blogging, promo--how do you find the time to write?
I think what really happens is that we get caught up in the idea that it is all or nothing. That writing is not worthwhile unless we spit out at least ten pages at a time. That cleaning house isn't any good unless we move all the furniture and clean from floor to ceiling. That diet and exercise isn't going to work unless we run three hours a day and cut our calories to 900 a day. We have fallen into a binge/purge mentality. We feel as if it's not worth it unless we make it extreme. (TV doesn't help with Extreme Home Makeover, Biggest Loser, etc. In our culture, if it's not extreme then it isn't worth doing.)
I say- Stop the madness! I say- let go of the peer pressure-the pressure from advertisers and television. They have only one purpose in life and that is not to improve yours- they want to sell you something. Stop competing for a moment with Suzy who write 20 pages a day...and with Sally who runs five miles a day...and with George who not only works 12 hours a day but also coaches and does charity fund raisers. It makes your mind spin and you wonder- who has the time?!
How do you find time to have balance? Here are a few tips that work for me--please feel free to leave tips in comments, too. I'm always open to new ideas.
1) Stop. Breathe. Close your eyes and push out the thoughts of what should be and think about what you want to be. Be realistic based on your life- your personality-your preferences-the current market, etc.
2) Make a list of yearly goals: lose ten pounds, write one full book, have a clean house- Don't write sell a book because you have no control over who will buy. List only what you can control-writing a book and sending it out.
3) Break those goals down into small DOABLE daily bits.
4) Give yourself thirty days to get into the habit of meeting these small goals and make them a lifetime thing.
5) Reevaluate every thirty days to see what works and what doesn't. Let's say you can't lose ten pounds no matter how hard you try- perhaps you need to adjust your thinking. Perhaps 5 pounds is enough. ( Ignore the starving plastic photo-shopped women in media. Think about your health instead. If you must lose 30 pounds to lower your blood pressure and help diabetes- think like that. You are making healthy choices- not dieting. It will never be over. You must always take care of yourself because you are the only one who truly can.)
Here are small things I do: A few years ago when my kids were small I felt as if I could not keep up with the housework. So, I broke chores down into days like they did 150 years ago. On Monday I vacuum the whole house-under furniture once a month. This takes about 20 minutes. On Tuesdays I dust the whole house. On Wednesdays I clean the small bathroom. On Thursdays I clean the large bathroom and on Friday I damp mop the kitchen. If someone comes over and the floor is vacuumed but there is dust- well...it's not Tuesday. If it sounds too controlled- relax be flexible when necessary but don't give up. The key is to not give up.
Next, I evaluate my writing goals and review my schedule and my writing style. Then I set up a plan and stick to it as best I can- giving myself leeway for those days when things don't work out...(Notice that I have no housework scheduled for Saturday and Sunday. These are built in catch up days if the week doesn't turn out so well.) Remember a page a day will net you a book a year and a page consists of 250 words on average. If you can't do a page all at once- how can you break down 250 words in your day?
I don't run 5 miles or spin 25 miles any more. Instead I try to take three ten minute walks a day. It's what works best for me right now.
As for promotion-- no one can do it all. There are many wonderful ideas, find two or three that work for you and do them very well and let go of the thought that you have to compete with Sally Promo who spent $30,000 and countless hours on her book promo. Don't let her bully you into thinking you are not good enough just because she is binging.
So, how do you find time? Stop competing. There is always going to be someone writing more than you, promoing more than you, doing more than you with a cleaner better house than you. Let go of the idea you have to keep up. Think small. Think about you--your life and your needs. Think about your process and do a little every day. Forgive yourself when you don't and keep going. I believe that knowing yourself and your process and being realistic about life will help you to write the books you want to write and to build the career you want to have. Finding time to live a life as full as realistically possible for you is the ultimate goal.