How to Tell if You are a "True" Writer or Not

This week I was blogging over at Sia McKye's Thoughts Over Coffee blog. The idea of what makes you a "true" writer came up. A lovely follower noted that they must not be a "true" writer because... (insert reason here.)

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we look for the definition of a "true" writer?

I hate this question. I hate that some people say you have to be published by one of the big six to be a "real" writer. I hate that others say you aren't real until you make $X. So what in my opinion makes a "true" writer?

A writer writes.

That's it. It's that simple. Ask yourself, do I write? If the answer is yes, then you are a writer. It doesn't matter if you have to clean the house before you write or if you have to write when everyone else is in bed. It doesn't matter if the grammar is bad or the story-line doesn't hold up. It doesn't matter if your dialog is off key.

We all have our different ways of doing things and we all have the ability to learn. So what makes a writer? Someone who writes. Some writers are list makers. Some writers are poets. Some writers are slogan writers. Some writers are journalists. Some write for money. Some write research. Some write short stories. Others write novels or songs. All in all if you write, then you are a true writer.

Now that that is decided, the next thing to ask yourself is what are your personal goals as a writer? Do you want to write a short story? Do you want to write a song? A poem? A jingle for a product? Do you want to write fan fic? Do you want to write a novel?

How do your goals as a writer fit into your lifestyle? Having trouble finding the time to write? Ask yourself why- are you afraid of failure or success? Are you afraid to give yourself permission to take time to meet a seemingly frivolous goal? Or are your writing goals too big for your current life?

Whatever it is~ you have the power to change it. Fear of failure? Tell yourself you're only writing for fun and don't show it to anyone. Not until you want to or are comfortable. There is no rule that you have to have your work read to be a writer. Fear of success? Take the writing day by day Today I will write a page. I won't worry about hitting the NY Times list or doing appearances. Fear of taking time for yourself? Tell yourself that "Everyone" will be happier when you are happier and writing makes you happy. Adjust your goals to match your life-don't let yourself be pushed into something that doesn't work for you.

So here is my question: are you a writer? Did you write today? Did you want to? Do your goals need to be adjusted?

If you are a writer- even a writer of lists. Give yourself permission to play with it, to have fun with it. Life is too short to not be who you are or to try to live up to other people's expectations or definitions of who you are. Now go and write~ even if it's only to comment on my thoughts. Cheers~

The Care and Feeding of a Writer

One of my favorite artists is Native American Sculptor Roxanne Swentzell. You can see some of her work here. It's simply amazing. When I was at the national Romance Writer's of America Conference in Denver some years back, I took time out to visit the Denver Art Museum and there I saw her sculpture entitled "The Things I have to do to Maintain Myself." I've posted the picture of this work on the left. This little guy has a broken horn and is threading a needle to repair himself. This particular sculpture spoke to me deeply as a woman and a writer.

No offense guys, but women tend to put family, friends and work before their own care much more so then men. We think, "I have a gift to write and I'm going to even put that in front of my own care." Or we think, "I don't have time to mend myself." Overweight? I'll eat better when I have time. Exercise--but that takes away an hour I could be writing or doing laundry. Ladies, we put laundry before our own health. How messed up is that?

But as a creative artist and writer your work will suffer if you don't take time out daily to maintain yourself. Your work suffers, your family suffers and your life suffers. But, but, but...

I know all the excuses. I live them daily. I've found that as we age and continue to abuse ourselves with lack of proper rest, nutrition, and exercise, things begin to break down. Your work will suffer and spending more time in front of the computer won't cure it.

So how to do you break the cycle? When I was in the military I worked as an electronics technician and we had daily duties called PMI's (preventative measure initiatives.) We had a list of daily things that needed to be done to prevent breakdowns and malfunctions. I recommend you make a simple list of PMI's and then implement them one at a time. Commit to them for thirty days and they will become lifestyle habits. I'm not talking diets here, my friends. I'm talking about self-love and self-care. Care that will make your writing better, along with your family and your relationships.

Here's my list:

Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Walk the dog twenty minutes five days a week.

Do a simple yoga stretch routine right before bed.

Incorporate five fruits and vegetables in my food choices every day.

Never sit at the computer longer than an hour-use this five minute break to go downstairs and get a glass of water.

Look myself in the mirror and tell myself that I love me and that I'm here for me. Take this time to check in and ensure I don't have any pains, illness or tooth aches. If I do, then make an appointment to get it checked out or fixed.

Take care of yourself. Think of it as the instructions for oxygen masks in an airplane-put your mask on first- then you will be better equipped to help others.

What do you do to maintain yourself?

Writing through despair

I read the following blog today: The Business Rusch: You are not alone. I can't tell if this is an encouraging blog or a discouraging blog, but what I do know is that writers- published or not- indie or midlist or NYT Bestsellers- one and all hit the pit of despair at least once. For some, it is multiple times. Let's face it we are creatives and that leads us to wild imaginings of both fame and fortune, and the opposite, being forced to live in a cardboard box and scrounge in dumpsters for our next meal. When the words are dragged from you in blood, sweat, and tears and poured over and edited and reedited and hours spent on perfection-then all you see is rejection or worse- you get published-great reviews and still "no one" buys the book-except for maybe 50 of your friends who may not even read it. It feels like you have tried and failed. It feels personal-very personal.

I have to agree with one thing she says in her blog- you are not alone. What is most important- really truly important is to ask yourself what do you want to do? If what you want to do is write- then write. Write for fun. Write as freelance if you can. Write nonfiction. Write.

But I don't want to settle, you think. My writing is good. Some people think it's great. If I settle, will I be selling out? Will I be giving up? Will I do a disservice to the stories I have poured my heart and soul into?

We have all heard the stories of those writers who win the lottery and make it big in new ways. We begrudge them. We harangue them. We try to imitate them. We make it personal. It feels personal. It should be personal.

It's not.

Publishing is a crazy business. A crazy business that is changing as fast as technology. It's hard to keep up. Hard to tell what is up from down. It's like the grocery store check out lines. The line next to you is always shorter. But if you switch lines your old line goes faster. If you wait and get firmly wedged into the crowd a new line opens and people who just arrived get checked out first. Crazy. Also- not personal.

So read the blog above- let me know what you think. More importantly, write. Write for fun. Write out of love. Write because that is what you want. It is in the writing that we are created-not how fast you get out of the checkout line or how much money you save.

Cheers~

Procrastination

I had planned to write on the topic of world building this week, but then two things happened: 1) I read a great piece on Procrastination that resonated with me 2) I realized that many of you were off to the Romance Writer's of America Conference in Disney World this week and would not have time to read the blog. Therefore I decided to be a bit selfish and talk about what I want to talk about which is this great piece on procrastination.

I am reading, "The Feeling Good Handbook," by David D. Burns, M.D. I must admit my sad little secret, I love self help books. I read them to learn how others view the world. I look for character flaws to give my characters. I look for ways to improve my characters lives with a self-help growth arc. I find that self-help books, from the fabulous and well documented, to the mystical, are a great insight into the way humans-and therefore characters- think and act. Conflicts that are unique and feel true to life come out of the human experience. Self help books allow me to understand a multitude of points of view- and a million ways to grow and change those pov's.
But that's another subject. I'm procrastinating again and off topic, so lets come back to procrastination--a very common problem for writers of all ages. Chapter 9 in this book is dedicated to procrastination-it's causes and effects, and how to handle it.
On page 169, the author asks- "which comes first motivation or productive action?" We all think, motivation, right? Wrong. The most productive writers know not to wait for their muse. If they set a time, sit down at their computer, open a word file and begin, they know that sooner or later their muse will show up. The muse can't resist. They have to know what you are doing. They want to butt in with their fabulous thoughts. Sometimes I will write contrary things about my characters- I get about a half a page in and they show up complaining that they would never act that way. Then I have them and before I know it five or ten pages are written. Productive action is the best way to kill procrastination. The key is to start- start small, allow yourself to do it imperfectly- or do it imperfectly on purpose. Five pages edited out is still five pages more than not starting. Five pages more of practice. Five pages of working out a problem. In effect, Doctor Burns writes, "Action leads to motivation which leads to more action." Nike was right. Just do it.
On page 170 the Burns writes: "People who procrastinate often have an unrealistic view of how a productive person really functions." In other words, they think that, unlike them, things come easy for productive people and that "productive people don't have to endure frustration, self-doubt and failure." I hear this all the time. When I'm published things will be better. I will sell everything I write. I will sell my backlist. (People used to say that to me when I would say, I've written 15 manuscripts and am not published. Well, they would answer, once you are published you will sell you entire backlist. um, no.) Writers assume that if you are published-no, really published (whatever that means to them)-then being productive is easy. HA! Warning truth alert: if you are writing full manuscripts, revising, polishing, sending them out, and getting rejections you are living the published authors life. Minus the book on the shelf. :) But even then only one in four of the books I write make it to the shelf. I don't say this to discourage you. I say it to emphasize what the doctor says next: "Highly productive people are more likely to have a 'coping model.' They assume that life will be frustrating and that there will be numerous rejections and setbacks and even failures on the road to success. When they encounter these obstacles, they simply assume that things are as they should be and persist."
He goes on to name the other reasons to procrastinate: the fear of failure, the fear of success, lack of rewards (this is hard for writers who hit the, "I'm not publishing why keep going?" and "My numbers are small, I'm doing all this work and the guys at Mikey D's get paid more than I do," walls.) There is also the "shoulds"- I should write this because that's what's selling, I should write because my partner wants me to, etc. Here's a revelation:the more you tell yourself you should do something, the harder it is to do it. The only way to do something is because you want to- not because you should. Ex: I want to pay my bills because I don't want to pay late fees. I want to write a thriller because I like to write action.
Then there is procrastination as a passive aggressive act, you don't write because you are mad at your cp, your editor, your agent or your spouse. Unassertiveness-you can't say no and although you said yes to writing a blog or a short story for an anthology you really wanted to say no so you procrastinate. Also, coercion sensitivity where you procrastinate because you feel people are acting bossy and forcing you to do something you don't want. Which happens more than you know in writing-especially with the pressure from writing groups or partners. Finally procrastination can be caused by a simple lack of desire. You simply aren't interested. The answer there is to decide not to do it. If you decided not to do something then it's no longer procrastination but a decision. Writers need to give themselves permission to choose to write or not. Permission to take time off, to do something else, to explore other options. Many really good, really well known authors only write one or two books. If you are done, you are done. Life is too short to live in procrastination hell.
As the famous Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." If a someone thinks less of you for making your life decisions then they are not really your friend, are they?
I hope these tips, which helped me, will help you. Next week Ill talk about world building... or not. :) Cheers~

The most important thing when writing...

The days are shorter and darker. We are halfway through nano and the Holiday season officially starts in just 11 days. Are you feeling the pressure? I know I am.

I'm going to share with you the number one, most important thing a writer can do for their work-in-progress. It's simple really and very often over looked. That thing is self care. Simple and yet so hard, I know because it's fraught with guilt. Why spend the time in a hot bath or a nice walk when I could be writing, making cookies, sending out cards, blogging, making contacts...etc. Why? Because if you aren't taking care of yourself-daily- it will show up in your work, your craft and your sparkle.

I can't tell you the number of writer's I've seen come out of a deadline bent over like an old man, wearing wrist braces, popping pain pills for bad backs, blinking at sunlight like a mole, their hair a neglected mess, thinking-shower? what's a shower... Food? I mean come on who has time to do anything but eat peanut M&M's while I write... How did I gain 20 pounds when all I eat is the scraps off the kids plates because I was writing? (Sound familiar?) The sad truth is this kind of self abuse shows up in your work. Agents and editors will ask-where's the sparkle? You'll stare at your work so hard that you'll miss obvious things like missing letters in words. You might tell yourself that self abuse is part of the writing life--but that is a lie. It does not make the work better. It will not get you on a bestseller list. So-right here, right now, sit up straight, put you hands on your rib cage, take a deep breath in for three counts and let it out slow. Feel better, don't you? Got blood flowing to the brain- and a sparkle in your eye.

Now- I don't care if you have to make sticky notes and put them on your screen, here are some things you should do every day to improve your craft.

1. Don't sit more than an hour at a time. Get up, take a stroll around your office/home. Set a timer if you must.

2. Hydrate. I don't mean soda or coffee (Sorry, Diet Coke drinkers, coffee lovers.). Get a pitcher of nice cool water and keep it nearby. Add lemon, lime or cucumber slices. Drink at least 8 oz an hour.

3. Stretch. Small things like the stretch of the ribcage mentioned above. Put your arms over you head for a count of ten. Roll your shoulders. Flex you wrists. Point your toes and flex your feet.

4. Nutrition. For goodness sakes, I don't mean diet. Yikes who wants to add that stress to this time of year, but put the candy away and make apple slices, grapes, pears. Stop and eat a real meal-complete with sitting at the table, silverware, maybe even a napkin.

5. Take a vitamin, if you feel a cold/flu think zinc. I keep children's chewables in the desk drawer beside my keyboard. Chomping down on a cherry flavored rino once a day can be fun.

6. Connect with a friend at least once a day. An e-mail, a phone call or even a letter.

7. Get outside for at least ten minutes. Breath in the fresh air. Swing your arms. Take a walk or merely get out on your patio or deck and stomp your feet and take in the view.

8. Pat yourself on the back. Even if you've only written one word and you hate it. You wrote that word which is more than most people can say. Be proud of what you do. Put your critical editor in a box for at least five minutes a day and tell yourself three positive things.

9. Smile. It's the best kind of face lift.

10. Laugh-even if you have to fake it- it helps with blood flow and tightens the core muscles.

Take care of yourself and it will show in your work. (And I get the added benefit of having you in my life that much longer.) Cheers~

Finding Balance

One of the more difficult things to maintain in a writing life is balance. Balance between writing and not writing. Balance between family and writing and career. Balance in promotion, and groups and conferences. Balance in the story itself in finding the right amount of conflict, description, dialog and action.

I always get caught up in trying too hard. When I hear friends writing 2k words, or 5 pages a day or book after book, I feel like a slacker and so add pages, stories, words. Pretty soon, all I do is write. I burrow into my office chair and spend hours there working on story or pages or whatever. My relationships slip, after all, writing comes first, right? My housekeeping slips...write or die, right? I don't see daylight for weeks on end...don't get dressed, rarely shower(I know you're glad you're not here.) My daughter has to walk in and physically pull me from the computer. After all, I don't have a deadline. Writing more does not make writing better. But...but, I just know this next idea might be my "breakout" book... You know, breakout or not there will always be another book after it. I get caught up in the idea that if I only try harder, write faster, promote more, I'll be able to make it happen.

Um, no. Story comes from life. If you're not living it, then your stories become weak. If you sacrifice relationships then your characters lose depth. Living life in your head you lose so much and so does your writing. Writing too much is as bad as not writing enough.

Think of your writing career as a story. Stories can't be all dialog. They can't be all glorious rich description. They can't be all action. They have to be a good balance of dialog, action and description. True success comes not from trying harder, but from stepping back and figuring out how to live smarter, richer lives. Relationships add to story. Taking care of your health adds to your writing-let's face it you can't write as well if you're sick or in pain or hungry. But, you say if I live my life then there isn't room for story. Or I'll miss a trend or an opportunity. I say, so be it. Participating in 100 groups might garner you 10 sales. But at the sacrifice of real relationships. Are 10 sales worth that? Catching a trend might sell one book, but two, three, four years down the road the trend is gone and you will be scrambling again. At what cost?

So, I say, make a habit of once a month, stepping away from your writing and looking at it for balance. Am I not writing enough to meet my goals? Did I get caught up in promotion at the expense of my writing? Am I taking care of my health, my relationships? When was the last time I went outside and looked up at the night sky? My last sunrise? My last sunset? Visit my good friend and invest some time in life?

Living a life in balance is the hardest thing to do, but I believe your writing will actually benefit from it. Now, I'm off to spend the afternoon with friends. Cheers!